I have to believe this story will eventually make sense. But I don't envy the remaining writers trying to untangle the enigmas, wrapped in mysteries, wrapped in lies, wrapped in madness, wrapped in contradictions, wrapped in the future and the past and a multiverse, wrapped in... 🤣
It's great to see how much the story has changed from the first chapter. Joey was just a 'normal' private detective before the start of the story and now he is an inter-time adventurer negotiating on gun point with criminals wanted by inter dimension authorities. The power creep is crazy but the story is so damn good...
There is so much packed in this chapter. The Bogart and Bacall style dialog is a real throw back. It's interesting that time jumping has multiple effects: losing track of personal time and time ripples (open doors) that cause various timelines to start overlapping!
This showdown is everything. We can talk about how wild the bomb reveal is, but the dialogue is what blew me away. The "human zigzag" and "dummy gun" lines were excellent. And the way you wrote him closing the distance made it feel every bit like the turning point it should be. Bravo!
I have to believe this story will eventually make sense. But I don't envy the remaining writers trying to untangle the enigmas, wrapped in mysteries, wrapped in lies, wrapped in madness, wrapped in contradictions, wrapped in the future and the past and a multiverse, wrapped in... 🤣
Go Joey!
And you turned my life into a bad line in a first draft dime store novel. Ooo, that’s some tough meta-criticism right there! 😂
It's great to see how much the story has changed from the first chapter. Joey was just a 'normal' private detective before the start of the story and now he is an inter-time adventurer negotiating on gun point with criminals wanted by inter dimension authorities. The power creep is crazy but the story is so damn good...
You upped the ante, Nick. It's gonna be hard to top a bomb in his brain!
I FREAKING loved this chapter!
It was the perfect continuation of the story and I especially loved how Joey’s a full badass now which I take some credit for. 😜
Great great job!
Can’t wait for what comes next but my money’s on Joey coming out on top. 👍
There is so much packed in this chapter. The Bogart and Bacall style dialog is a real throw back. It's interesting that time jumping has multiple effects: losing track of personal time and time ripples (open doors) that cause various timelines to start overlapping!
This showdown is everything. We can talk about how wild the bomb reveal is, but the dialogue is what blew me away. The "human zigzag" and "dummy gun" lines were excellent. And the way you wrote him closing the distance made it feel every bit like the turning point it should be. Bravo!
“You listen to me you damn zigzag of a human being: Do it.”
After re-reading, this is my favorite line. Had me laughing out loud! Bravo.